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Everyone thinks an artist needs an artist's statement. Even the bartender at Seidenfaden's said I needed one, and I trust my bartender with things I wouldn't trust with my wife, if I had a wife. Which I don't.

But I've always hated reading artist's statements. They usually fall somewhere between "I paint puppies because they're so cute" or "the primary crux of my oeuvre is deconstruction of the postmodern paradigm". Who needs it? Not I. I just paint what the little voices in my head tell me to. Like Lee Harvey Oswald, I'm just a patsy.

My Remodernist art is not for the jaded or the unenthusiastic.

Bernard Buffet said: "Painting, we do not talk about it, we do not analyze it, we feel it." There it is, then. My paintings do not require the viewer to read two pounds of text in order to be "truly understood" in the "proper perspective".

What you see on these canvases is exactly what I intended, no more, no less. Don't criticize me for failing to achieve something I never set out to do in the first place.

Conversation with a Television

2003

Ace Sitting Around Drinking

2002

Clown Eating Fried Chicken

2004

Nude Reading Comic Books

2006

Piggy With Spatula

2006

Erica in the Studio

2006

Intergalactic Cupcake

2006

In Revenge and in Love

2005